WOW, January is almost at a close. Did you pick a word for the year? Or a goal? Goals? Where do you stand with these? Have you made successes? Dropped them?
January is typically a month where we start like the rabbit and then turn into the turtle. Especially for a lot of us from New England. We hide in our shells. We’ve often had enough of Winter and retreat into our homes and cover up with the blankets. Oh hell, I dunno about the rest of you, but that is certainly what I do. I start with great expectations and wonderful, lofty goals and then end the month with a stuffy, red nose and the blankets pulled up over me and no clue why I dreamed it possible I could accomplish anything. My new dream is usually sipping margaritas under a palm tree with a scantily clad fantasy man serving me. Oh well, that’s for another day’s post.
This year I didn’t really write out a lot of goals. I did a little bit of cheating and carried a lot of last years goals over into this year as continuations. Yes, there are a few add-ons, but not a lot. My big thing at the end of 2014 and beginning of 2015 was searching for a word or phrase for the year. Embrace Metamorphosis. Grab a hold of change and growth. To take what comes to me this year with grace and dignity and greet it with a smile and give it the love it deserves. That is how I want to deal with 2015.
I knew there would be some changes in my life. D would be one. Not really a change I was looking forward to, but one that was outside of my total control and I was going to have to learn to accept and go forth with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. Sometimes change is difficult. Loss is hard. We don’t forget our past, we should learn from it and enjoy the fact that it has taught us and for me, D brought me great pleasure and I will forever be grateful for her. We or I need to learn where things go from here. I am ready now to embrace this change. It’s taken me a while, but I think I’m ready.
School. Well, I knew ending 2014 that this was a definite possibility for 2015, but had no frickin clue that it would be the very first thing I would face. So stinking exciting. I feel like a kid in a candy store. Jumping in with both feet. No, it’s not college, and it’s not a degree program. It’s not going to be what every kid dreams of at the age of 17. I’m not 17, I’m 54. My dream is not to go to school for the next 4-8 years and have a lifelong career. My hope is to move forward, to go positive in my life. School is a definite positive and forward move in my life and I couldn’t be more excited if I were 17 and got accepted at Harvard.
Arthritis. DAMMIT. This one I had NOT expected. OR Wanted. Okay, I had started to put some dreams and long term goals in place. They aren’t firm or solidly planned out, but they are starting to take hold, and having something that gives chronic pain (on top of the stupid fibro) is something I had not figured into this. How do I embrace this change? For now, I’m praying. I’m asking my friends to pray and to send positive thoughts and energy and prayers my way. Just yesterday I was given some positive words that I’m trying to hold onto. “I choose to believe the present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory to be revealed in us.” Romans 8 . I CHOOSE. Yes, I can choose to believe. I believe good things are coming despite the arthritis or maybe in spite of it.
So to end this day, or this month, I’m choosing to embrace metamorphosis. To take the changes and the growths as they come and hold onto them, look them in the eye and welcome them as a part of my life. Some good, some not so good.
The future is exciting.
1) spending time with my son
2) not going off the road in the snow storm
3) going out to lunch and having a yummy salad