More pain

Ya, I know, I haven’t written in a few days, and this is just a really short update.  My back continues to hurt, obsessively, and I can’t sit for very long, and I can’t seem to think very well.  My thoughts run random and very short lived.  My brain seems to be on vacation while my back seems to be on overdrive.  I’m calling my doctor this morning and hopefully we will get somewhere soon with this, at least to get some kind of pain relief.  A diagnosis would be nice, but pain relief is what I need most.  I’ve been working hard at not whining.

On the good side of life.  I start computer training school on Wednesday !  I am so excited.  I should say I start, unless the state of NH decides I shouldn’t go for some reason.  This venture is being funded by Vocational Rehab.  As I have been on disability for the past 15 years or so, and not had a job in about 20 years, I’ve decided it is time to attempt getting back into real life.
My depression appears to be under some amount of control, my panic disorder seems relatively in order and I’ve got my diabetes moderately in control.  So, it is time to do something with my life.  I’ve spent a lot of the last few years thinking about what i could do and what I wanted to do.  I enjoy using my computer, and I enjoy learning on the computer.  In the past I have enjoyed working in a small office.  I’m hoping by the beginning of 2016, or earlier, to have a part time job in an office.  In order to do this, I need to do some educating myself.  Vocational Rehab is the route for people like myself.  They are sending me to a program through  to take a beginner program in Microsoft word 2010 and excel.  It is a simple 8 week program.  I wanted to go full gusto and take the 24 week program, but the director and I sat down and talked, and since it has been well over 30 years since I have done any school, and close to 20 years since I have worked, we felt it best for me to only commit to 8 weeks and see how things felt for me.  If all goes well and I am doing good and I enjoy the program, have not missed any classes, etc., then I can ask Voch Rehab to extend the funding for me to continue and take the full gusto classes and go for the rest of the training.  To me this makes a lot of sense.  I was a teeny tiny bit disappointed at first but it really does make sense to me.  I’d be even more disappointed if I committed to the 24 week class and dropped out after 8 weeks because it was too much for me or I hated it or some such reason.  My life just gets a tiny bit busier, starting this week.  Hopefully my back will withstand sitting in a computer chair from 9-4 for one day.

1) Felt really good being in church today
2) Made a great crock pot full of chicken soup
3) a nice long nap with the pup and kitten